|Wiener Melange. Starbucks, go fuck yourself!
|Actually, I like our St. Stephans Church better. Nyah, nyah!
|Musical Toilets! The West has everything you dreamed of!
|Der Pooper Scoopser is visable under the horse's tail.
|My digs in 1965. Notice the flags. Hol a Magyar? Hol a Magyar!
|The Rathaus. Transformed into a skating rink.
|Kiaserschmarren: smearing the Kaiser with sugar and syrup.
|The Vienna Ice Dream.
|Mega-chunky hunk of steamed baloney, get in mah mouth!
|Flat. Boring, Good.
|You can help Emperor Ferdinand... or you can turn the page...
Ferdie's successor, the Emperor Franz Joseph, obviously didn't spend much time on oral hygiene: his teeth were so rotten he had to have his meat and vegetables carefully overcooked so that he wouldn't have to chew. The result, a splodge of boiled beef, root vegetables, and stock called tafelspitz is loyally on offer at nearly every restaurant in Vienna today, even though the modern Viennese can boast excellent dental care. But the Schnitzel... it shines. Nothing more than a slab of meat with the shit pounded out of it, breaded and fried, vainly aspiring to the mediocrity that is the unique quality of nearly every Hapsburg achievement, and yet... it is good. It is a nice piece of fried meat. So bland, so nondescript, yet so satisfying.
|Oom Pah Pah Mani Hum!
Euros and you can get the veal version, and I had wanted to try the "suurschnitzel" - a pickled meat version, but at the last minute decided to go with the specialty of the house.
|As thin as a sheet of cardboard, and just as tasty.
|They wish they were a baller, wish they were a little bit taller,..
This is the social event of the season, in which the hoi polloi and all of the upper crust of Austria gather to strut in top hat and tails and drink champagne and schnapps and then waltz the night away as if it were still the Good Old Days of the Hapsburg Empire and nobody had granted any civil rights to stinky Slavs and Vlachs yet. Bankers and civil servants and reality TV show stars spend the day dressing up like Metternich and giving interviews to the Austrian TV stations and hoping that the local Anarchists won't be tossing stink bombs at them as they arrive at the Opera House for their evening of Smug 'n' Smarmy waltzing and hand kissing. Personally? Give me the East. On the other hand, to be fair, the train station does offer free wifi to refugees. As I said, we are in the West now.